In hindsight, what "weird" things do you remember?

[itt2]

When my kids were babies/toddlers, I "missed" all kinds of stuff, because I didn't know what to make of some of the stuff I saw.  Looking back, what are some things that should have made or did make you realize your kids were not typically wired?

With my son, when he was 4 we were looking at new houses. Whenever he had to walk down a flight of stairs, he looked like a blind person taking stairs. He would slide his feet back and forth to the edge while gripping the rail tightly with both hands, one foot at a time. It was the most bizarre thing I had ever seen. Now I know it was due to sensory integration issues. He could not trust his visual interpretation of the stairs, so he was trying to "feel" them with his feet. He would also throw himself on the floor sometimes. I now know that was due to proprioceptive issues. He was losing track of where his body was in space. Throwing himself on the floor would give him "feedback" and get him oriented again.

With my daughter, when I was teaching her to bathe herself, she would put the wash cloth in her right hand and wash her left arm, chest and belly. When I would tell her "wash the other arm" she would look down at her right arm, clearly puzzled by how she could possibly wash her arm while holding the washcloth in the same hand. It did not occur to her to put the washcloth in her left hand to wash her right arm. Even when I repeatedly showed her to do this, it was very difficult for her. I later learned that this was related to difficulty crossing the midline, which is a common issue with kids on the spectrum.

[io]

I don't have children.

I can however recite the things my mother thought were off about me. I wouldn't look at people as an infant. I would follow objects, not faces. I would arch my back, become stiff, and push away if anyone, but my parents tried to pick me up. I said a few words when I was 2 then stopped till I was @5. When I did speak again the first words out of my mouth were, "I would rather have that one." I would pull my parents to the things I wanted and use their hands to point at it. I had difficulty with pledging to the flag in elementary (sometimes even now) as I would put up my left hand since it was on the same side as the teachers' arm and she said do what I am doing.

I was and still am monotone, stoic, and rigid in my movements. I used complex language fluidly and appropriately. (Still do).

I would need to observe every detail of something, so I would get as close as I could to it, whether it was an ant or painting.(Still do)

I would spin for hours if left alone. I would rock, whether I am seated, standing or anywhere between. (Still do, just the rocking I don't spin unless I am on something that spins.)

I had and still have an intense and insatiable curiosity about everything.

I had and still do have intense interests and have become quite proficient at them. I was always content being by myself and happy with whatever I had. (Still mostly true.)

I had to look at the ground a lot to not trip when walking. I also loved looking at the patterns in the sidewalks. I grew up in an old NE city lot's of brick/ cobble stone walkways. I still do need to look down a lot otherwise I trip. I also walk to fast (so I am told).

I was constantly questioning why others reacted to things the way they did, they made no sense to me. Still do need to ask why, sometimes the answers make it even more confusing.

I would "run away" from loud noises. Still can't be around them. By the way loud noises starts at anything above 2 people using inside voices standing 2 feet apart even then sometimes that is too much.

I sigh a lot. Hold my breath (without doing it purposely) when ever something kicks on or some new stimulation is added.

I had to be told to look at a camera and smile a lot.

I would look at people when they talk and when I talk my eyes go all over the place. (Still do)

I was and still am very sensitive, take things literally, and often times get taken advantage of, because I am overly compassionate. I will try to help anyone and everyone I can.

I had to and still do very rigidly follow rules and expect others to do the same. I know they don't, but I wish they would and I am libel to go into full fit if they don't.

I guess you can add overly honest as well. My dad would say you could leave a sandwich on the table and lock me in the room with it come back a month later and I wouldn't have touched it without asking first. I always saw it as being polite and respectful, doing what is expected, but apparently I go overboard with it. I still ask if it's "OK" to do things, even though I am an adult, I ask my roommate now is the only difference.

I'm not sure you wanted all that, there it is anyway.

[itt2]

Nov 7, 2015 3:32:46 GMT io said:

I'm not sure you wanted all that, there it is anyway.

Thanks!

Actually, I am just trying to get a conversation going, so I am trying to think of things that people new to parenting a kid on the spectrum might be interested in reading, and something someone who has been at this awhile would have things to respond with.

My daughter also pointed with my hand. I had to do significant hand-over-hand with her to get her to point, and for a long time, she either pointed with her thumb or her whole hand.

Both my daughter and I are fine with loud noises, but we react horribly to SUDDEN loud noises. We both hate balloons, for example, because they might pop unexpectedly. We are fine with fireworks, though, because we expect the noise.

Like you, my son is pretty aware of the ground when he is walking, and my daughter is fascinated with patterns. We had old plaster walls in the house where she was born and she used to trace the cracks/imperfections on the walls and ceilings well before she talked. Are you artistic? She is a gifted artist.

My son is also very literal and gullible. He is getting somewhat better, because now when he hears people say something that seems implausible or doesn't make sense, he recognizes that it is figurative language. Getting him to that point took awhile. He is also more aware that he is gullible now, so sometimes he is able to take a step back before acting.

[io]

I am very artistic. I paint and my work is classified as fine art due to the detail and realism of it.

[itt2]

My daughter (only 10) has a "special interest" type focus on chibis and anime. Her brother, who has a special interest in Pokemon, says that the ones that she creates are better than most of the "real" ones (she gives them powers, too). She has difficulty with realism, although I do think in time, she will develop it. She has a remarkable eye for detail. I am artistic myself, but what sets her in a league well above me is that I am very good, provided I have the exemplar in front of me. She can draw detailed images from pictures she holds in her head, even things that are imaginary. When she was 4, she had a birthday party and one of her therapists came with her boyfriend. She asked my daughter to draw Sponge Bob. She was sitting across from them, on the opposite side of the paper. She drew Sponge Bob, oriented toward them (in other words, she drew it upside down from her perspective), in great detail. She also doesn't work the way I do, by sketching in the main shapes first. She starts from one point in the drawing and just draws. So, she will start in the upper right corner, and draw down until she reaches the bottom left corner. She will then go back to fill in details, but the overall drawing is done already. I don't know if that makes sense or not

Do you find that you paint in a way that is different from other artists?

[io]

Every artist has a style their own, so to say I paint differently from other artists would be accurate. I know I paint very very close to the canvas when most artist stand back. I will spend hours working on a small square area of the canvas and leave the rest undone till I get to it. Say for instance I need to add a shadow, I will spend an ungodly amount of time making sure it is the right hue, length, shape, degree, etc. I know most people paint things in a single sitting or within a week I normally take on avg 5-8 weeks to complete one piece.

I do understand what you described. She has a talent for spacial relations, which is a really good quality to have when creating art. As far as her realism, if every artist painted with realism there would be no Van Goghs or Monets.

[wth]

I made an account on here just to say, wow I haven't heard of any other kids who throw themselves on the floor. My DS2 does it (still) and I have often wondered why. The proprioception idea makes sense. With my son it's possible he just loses balance (as he has an off-balance gait) and then decides to "go with it", haha. But it's interesting to read that other people's kids did/do this!

With DS1, the first thing I noticed was his weird eye gaze. He looked at things out of the corner of his eye a lot and when a person would be in front of him, it was like he didn't see them at all. Later on, he started putting his hands in front of his eyes and moving them out in different directions to alter what he can see. I'm pretty sure this is related to autism, though I do not know why he does this.

DS2 I thought couldn't be autistic at first because he was so friendly. He was/is extremely smiley too. He loves people and interacting with people, but is just completely clueless on how to do it. I also originally missed his sensory issues because he is a sensory-seeker. He would dump things over his head (anything at all- sand, water, pudding, etc.), put random non-edible things in his mouth, LICK things, shine a flashlight directly in his eyes, and want constant hugs/physical contact. I was under the impression autistic people always avoided stimulation, so these things couldn't be autism.

Regarding art: DS1 likes to take photographs. He has an instant camera. He takes photos of seemingly-random things and then he arranges them very precisely. The order is meaningful, but we cannot figure out what the meaning is (it's not chronological). If I move two of the pictures when he is out of the room (in a collage of 30+ mind you), when he comes back, he immediately spots it, and moves them back. Oh, to know what he is thinking!

I am still as wordy as usual…yes it is I, WelcomeToHolland. I changed the username though because I never liked that one (I thought it didn't matter because I wouldn't post on WP much anyway…HA!).

[sillyaspielady]

I'm not a parent, but I remember making certain noises when I was frustrated as a small child. I also remember being afraid to look into the eyes of certain people in Kindergarten. Another thing I used to do was copy lines from cartoons, movies, and commercials. My toes used to be (and still kind of are) sensitive to the seams in socks, so I used to wear them inside out.

[itt2]

Nov 10, 2015 2:17:58 GMT wth said:

I made an account on here just to say, wow I haven't heard of any other kids who throw themselves on the floor. My DS2 does it (still) and I have often wondered why. The proprioception idea makes sense. With my son it's possible he just loses balance (as he has an off-balance gait) and then decides to "go with it", haha. But it's interesting to read that other people's kids did/do this!

With DS1, the first thing I noticed was his weird eye gaze. He looked at things out of the corner of his eye a lot and when a person would be in front of him, it was like he didn't see them at all. Later on, he started putting his hands in front of his eyes and moving them out in different directions to alter what he can see. I'm pretty sure this is related to autism, though I do not know why he does this.

DS2 I thought couldn't be autistic at first because he was so friendly. He was/is extremely smiley too. He loves people and interacting with people, but is just completely clueless on how to do it. I also originally missed his sensory issues because he is a sensory-seeker. He would dump things over his head (anything at all- sand, water, pudding, etc.), put random non-edible things in his mouth, LICK things, shine a flashlight directly in his eyes, and want constant hugs/physical contact. I was under the impression autistic people always avoided stimulation, so these things couldn't be autism.

Regarding art: DS1 likes to take photographs. He has an instant camera. He takes photos of seemingly-random things and then he arranges them very precisely. The order is meaningful, but we cannot figure out what the meaning is (it's not chronological). If I move two of the pictures when he is out of the room (in a collage of 30+ mind you), when he comes back, he immediately spots it, and moves them back. Oh, to know what he is thinking!

I am still as wordy as usual…yes it is I, WelcomeToHolland. I changed the username though because I never liked that one (I thought it didn't matter because I wouldn't post on WP much anyway…HA!).

[itt2]

Heh...can't seem to figure out the quote thing right now...wth, it is me, InThisTogether.

Yes, my son used to throw himself on the floor. He was definitely not losing his balance. He said he "had" to do it, even though he knew he wasn't supposed to. When he was younger he was a sensory mess, but not necessarily in the "I don't like loud noises or tags in my clothes" kind of way. In the sensory integration kind of way. Seeker in many areas and avoider in others. Gravitational insecurity, difficulty mimicking gross motor movements, difficulty grading his movements. He doesn't do that kind of stuff anymore. BTW, he was also very social. Especially as a toddler. I used to call him "socially fearless." He would walk up to anyone, anywhere, and have a conversation. His problem was that he could not pick up nonverbal cues, so when he started to annoy people, he couldn't tell. One time a little girl in his after school program came up to me and said "X's mommy? I really like X, but could you please tell him that when someone moves away from him, he shouldn't move over to be close to them again?" Poor kid!

[sillyaspielady]

Nov 13, 2015 2:25:45 GMT itt2 said:

Heh...can't seem to figure out the quote thing right now...wth, it is me, InThisTogether.

Yes, my son used to throw himself on the floor. He was definitely not losing his balance. He said he "had" to do it, even though he knew he wasn't supposed to. When he was younger he was a sensory mess, but not necessarily in the "I don't like loud noises or tags in my clothes" kind of way. In the sensory integration kind of way. Seeker in many areas and avoider in others. Gravitational insecurity, difficulty mimicking gross motor movements, difficulty grading his movements. He doesn't do that kind of stuff anymore. BTW, he was also very social. Especially as a toddler. I used to call him "socially fearless." He would walk up to anyone, anywhere, and have a conversation. His problem was that he could not pick up nonverbal cues, so when he started to annoy people, he couldn't tell. One time a little girl in his after school program came up to me and said "X's mommy? I really like X, but could you please tell him that when someone moves away from him, he shouldn't move over to be close to them again?" Poor kid!

I was like that in middle childhood. I REALLY wanted to make friends, so I thought actively talking to children and wanting to play with them would help with that. Unfortunately, that just led to being bullied for not understanding why children at school didn't want to play with me. I also couldn't tell if I was annoying someone, but even if I did, I would have no clue as to why I'm annoying them.

I'm really glad that little girl wasn't mean to you about it. My mom told me that kids at school would tell her mean stuff about me when I wasn't around, which infuriated her.

[itt2]

There was a reason she wasn't mean to him. He stuck up for her a lot. She was the only girl in the afterschool program and sometimes the boys were mean to her, but my son wasn't. One time they made an "all-boys club" with the sole intent to exclude her and my son refused to join it. When they told him they wouldn't be his friend anymore, he told them that was OK. He didn't want to be friends with someone who would be in a club that excluded others. Then he told me that he did not want to be in the boy scouts.

[auswolf]

Nov 13, 2015 2:25:45 GMT itt2 said:

Heh...can't seem to figure out the quote thing right now...wth, it is me, InThisTogether.

Yes, my son used to throw himself on the floor. He was definitely not losing his balance. He said he "had" to do it, even though he knew he wasn't supposed to. When he was younger he was a sensory mess, but not necessarily in the "I don't like loud noises or tags in my clothes" kind of way. In the sensory integration kind of way. Seeker in many areas and avoider in others. Gravitational insecurity, difficulty mimicking gross motor movements, difficulty grading his movements. He doesn't do that kind of stuff anymore. BTW, he was also very social. Especially as a toddler. I used to call him "socially fearless." He would walk up to anyone, anywhere, and have a conversation. His problem was that he could not pick up nonverbal cues, so when he started to annoy people, he couldn't tell. One time a little girl in his after school program came up to me and said "X's mommy? I really like X, but could you please tell him that when someone moves away from him, he shouldn't move over to be close to them again?" Poor kid!

I was also very social as a kid, but only with my parents' adult friends, and our adult neighbours. I hated kids, just as I dislike them even now. I was a "little adult" who liked to talk about various issues in the world - yes, right after I learned how to speak! I saw kids as I see them now: as drooling, unintelligent, unsentient beings that are only capable of destroying their environment and talking nonsense. Whenever our neighbours had enough of me and told me to play with their kids, I was puzzled and annoyed. I didn't realize that they had adult things to do, and their lives were not only about talking to me. Of course, I played like all kids do, but I preferred playing alone. Kindergarten was hell for me.

The sensory issues you wrote about in your opening post also reminded me of something. We used to live in a two-storey detached house when I was a kid. I used to crawl on the stairs for years, because I didn't feel like having control there. I was afraid of sliding and falling.

Also, I used to drink milk from my nursery bottle long after my teeth grew out. I was sad when I accidentally broke it when I was 4 or 5 and had no choice but to drink from a cup. I don't think this is a developmental issue - I'm just uncomfortable with change sometimes.

There is this other thing that is kind of weird. I didn't know, and sometimes still don't know how to identify with gender roles. I used to play with toy cars and building blocks, but I also played with my mom's old textile dolls. I used to sleep with them. Actually, I still have my stuffed animals, and I love them. My parents have always been kind of open-minded about my things, and never told me to "act like a man". It is not like I'm transsexual or anything. I am heterosexual, I dress in a manly way, and I love my girlfriend. I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else. It's just that I find it very hard to act how members of either sex are supposed to by unwritten societal rules. I'm biologically male, but I tend to think of myself as a gender-neutral person with an attraction to women (my girlfriend, that is).

[WitchsCat]

I'm not a parent myself, but what made my mom suspect that I am on the spectrum was that I would spin in circles endlessly without getting dizzy. I can also be verbal, but tend to say the same thing over and over again. I would also read at an advanced level, and cry whenever I hear a loud noise, such as a balloon popping.

[itt2]

My daughter used to be able to spin endlessly without getting dizzy, too. She is 10 now and gets dizzy, but when she was younger, she didn't. My son has always gotten dizzy very easily and has motion sickness.