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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 20:53:38 GMT
It is ok if you think I am whining, io.
I will continue to give my opinions on boo hoo poor me.
I don't think I am whining.
I think that many people don't want to hear criticisms of boo hoo poor me.
It is unclear why.
My guess is that they are perhaps protecting themselves in some safe bubble.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 20:54:07 GMT
As to telling apart when people are just milking your sympathy vs are really in crisis - once again this may not be popular, BUT -I don't want this site to be a crisis intervention place, I really do not want people putting out their suicide threats here. I DON'T NEED THE DRAMA IN MY LIFE! If I see a thread here saying "goodbye cruel world, I just took the overdose" I'm likely to send them to Wrong Planet or tell them to call 911. While I realize you are anxious about providing emotional support, probably if you are anything like myself you have failed miserably at recognizing the need, doesn't mean you can create an environment to shelter yourself from it. If you want to be part of a society whether it is online or not, you will be faced with challenges that require dealing with vulnerable people. That said you can choose to remain cut off from those situations a lot easier online by simply clicking through than you can in your daily life. Nothing requires you or anyone else for that matter to offer support or be sympathetic. |
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 20:56:15 GMT
I usually give practical suggestions when I can think of one that might apply in a situation someone describes. I don't know how to give emotional support to others. The closest to emotional support I can give is to encourage someone if something is going right like, "That's very good", or if something is going wrong and I understand that situation very well, I may say, "This is something that truly sucks", but only if I have gone through it too. I don't understand things like depression and anxiety much. Ok this is a key point I want you to consider, you just said your self that you don't know how to provide emotional support so would it be fair to say that its not the attitudes thats the problem but rather it makes you feel uncomfortable. Which is understandable but we need to be supportive of what people are going through too, maybe not a support site like Wrong Planet but still be accepting of these members who might be negative. Remember just because a thread is posted, doesn't mean you have to read it or reply. Bottom line is this, negativity is allowed just as opinions are allowed, it would be a shame if we accuse Wrong Planet of excessive moderation running members off when we run members off by not accepting some darker attitudes. I have no problem with negativity in general, I just don't like boo hoo poor me, and I am just posting my opinion that I don't like it here. If someone doesn't like something, I think they should be allowed to post it. I don't understand most of what you are saying here, about what you want me to consider? |
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 20:58:51 GMT
People post on wp and other autism forums about all the things that NTs do that they don't like and make them uncomfortable, and this can go on and on and fill many threads, and few people have problems with it.
I consider posting my opinion about certain behaviors I dislike same as others posting about what behaviors they don't like.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 21:02:34 GMT
My guess is that they are perhaps protecting themselves in some safe bubble. Just like you are with your criticisms of them. I get it. Next time though you might want to just say you are uncomfortable around emotional people. That would be a more accurate observation and critique. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 21:03:28 GMT
I consider posting my opinion about certain behaviors I dislike same as others posting about what behaviors they don't like. Ok, its fine, we aren't attack you, you opinion is noted, we just posted ours. There is no need to be defensive. |
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 21:05:18 GMT
People post on wp and other autism forums about all the things that NTs do that they don't like and make them uncomfortable, and this can go on and on and fill many threads, and few people have problems with it. I consider posting my opinion about certain behaviors I dislike same as others posting about what behaviors they don't like. Quite frankly, there are no threads here about NT's. If you are fixated on everything that is wrong on the other site I suggest you take your complaints there so they have an opportunity to fix it. ETA: That is a suggestion. We aren't here to bash other sites. We know there were problems, that's why this site is here. We don't want the problems that were on the other site here. Which means if you have a complaint there leave it there. If there is a obvious complaint here then let us know. |
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:08:48 GMT
I think you are attributing weird ideas to me, io.
I don't think I am uncomfortable around emotional people, as I have no problem with many displays of emotion like venting and meltdowns.
I consider venting and having some meltdowns every once in awhile fine and healthy for all people.
I support emotional people in person, quite naturally.
This includes people being happy, people being sad, people being annoyed, etc.
It is boo hoo poor me chronic attitude that I don't like it and say so.
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itt2
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Post by itt2 on Nov 8, 2015 21:09:34 GMT
So, are we saying that only people who meet certain criteria are going to be welcome here?
I don't mean that as an assy question. I mean it as a real one.
And which is it? Is WP too cheery? Or too woe-is-me?
Many people come to forums like this because they need to feel like others understand. They need to feel like they aren't alone.
Do I get downright sick of the threads that say things like "6 reasons why aspies are better than NTs?" Yup! Do I get tired of threads that say things like "Why do NTs think they have the right to abuse autistics?" Yup.
But nothing makes me read those threads except my own choice to click on the thread.
The same is true for cliques. As people get to know one another, they are bound to like some people more than others, and they are bound to post to the same threads.
Don't read them.
Just like you would not butt into the conversation of a group of people you do not like IRL, steer clear of the thread. It's not difficult. Stop reading it.
None of us should be counting on anyone else to be censoring their experience on this (or any other) site for our own personal comfort. Each of us can censor our own experience by choosing which threads to click on, which to leave, and which to read.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:11:35 GMT
People post on wp and other autism forums about all the things that NTs do that they don't like and make them uncomfortable, and this can go on and on and fill many threads, and few people have problems with it. I consider posting my opinion about certain behaviors I dislike same as others posting about what behaviors they don't like. Quite frankly, there are no threads here about NT's. If you are fixated on everything that is wrong on the other site I suggest you take your complaints there so they have an opportunity to fix it. I don't think there is anything to be fixed, as both saying what I don't like and others saying what they don't like is fine in my opinion. This is irrelevant to whether or not there are discussions about NTs here. Is there a rule about not talking about wp or other autism forums or other autism communities? If not, I may continue to mention them in posts. |
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:13:41 GMT
I like to read all kinds of things and post about what I like and don't like in what I read.
I think it is fine to read something, not like it or disagree with it, and say so.
I don't just read things that I know I will like or agree with.
In fact, I don't know if I will like or agree until I read it.
Can you all tell?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 21:15:46 GMT
Quite frankly, there are no threads here about NT's. If you are fixated on everything that is wrong on the other site I suggest you take your complaints there so they have an opportunity to fix it. I don't think there is anything to be fixed, as both saying what I don't like and others saying what they don't like is fine in my opinion. This is irrelevant to whether or not there are discussions about NTs here. Is there a rule about not talking about wp or other autism forums or other autism communities? If not, I may continue to mention them in posts. You may as stated earlier, you have not broken any rules but can we not be critical of your opinion if you are critical of Wrong Planet? We are posting as users, not moderators. |
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:16:36 GMT
Of course you can be critical, did I say that you can't?
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itt2
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Post by itt2 on Nov 8, 2015 21:17:33 GMT
There is one option to help control some of these variables, and that is to make this an invitation-only forum in which people can be "voted off the island." I was a member of a forum like that once, and in the years I participated, only 2 people that I can think of were kicked off. And it was successful, for the most part. I eventually quit due to philosophical differences, but I have no reason to believe that the forum does not still exist.
One of the pros was that we did not have a lot of stuff that the group as a whole considered "drama." One of the cons was that there was no injection of new ideas and opinions, and I think eventually that contributed to in-fighting.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:19:56 GMT
I am part of an invitation only forum, where only one person was ever kicked off.
I don't know why they were kicked off, as I was not the creator or a moderator.
I didn't have any problems with that person, but others did for reasons unknown to me.
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