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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:49:43 GMT
LIke I said, I am sure you know that already and chose to do it anyway. I wasn't a part of the original joke, so in the beginning it tripped me up quite a bit because one time I would read a post you wrote and you would sound intelligent and well spoken, and then the next time I came back, you sounded like a character from a cartoon! LOL! As a woman in a scientific field, you may want to pay attention to whether or not others think you are smart. You will have to work twice as hard to prove yourself and some people will run with any "opportunity" you give them to discredit your intelligence. Just my opinion. But it is my opinion based on the result of a youthful decision to disguise my intelligence so as not to make other people feel uncomfortable. It was a mistake. I am not saying you are trying to disguise your intelligence. But I understand what happens when you give people "reason" to discredit you. They will. And sometimes it is very difficult to come back from that once it happens. I understand what you are saying, thank you for your concern, and this is definitely something I will keep in mind and integrate as good advice. I don't use egg and berry words offline, but I don't take myself too seriously offline either. I joke a lot, but I am intense and serious about my research. The good thing is there are many similar BAP-type people at my school, much more than anywhere else in the world, I think. There is kind of culture where people joke and don't take themselves too seriously, but at same time intense about research. Perhaps it is like viewing research as kind of play. Even a lot of feels like pushing one's brain to the limits.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:51:37 GMT
Please continue this analysis, it is very interesting to me. Right now, going around asking people what they think of you, which means you're either anxious or upset, either way not a place where you are going to be open to listening. If you are still curious in a few days then you can ask me that again. Until then know that this particular feeling you are having whether you realize you are having it or not is what other people feel when they see posts about people hating them for complaining/boo hooing. OK, I'll ask you in a few days. Another thing is that I don't know what feeling you are talking about or what it has to do with boo hoo. I don't hate people for what I called boo hoo poor me attitude. I don't like the attitude, but I really don't dislike the people who have it. They may think that I hate them when I say that I don't like the attitude, but I didn't say that I hate them, and I don't hate them. I can't think anyone I hate. I hate celery, not people.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 21:51:30 GMT
Right now, going around asking people what they think of you, which means you're either anxious or upset, either way not a place where you are going to be open to listening. That's presumptuous. People can ask for feedback simply because they are interested in the opinions of others. I do it all the time, and I am rarely anxious or upset. I am curious. I know your statement was not directed at me, but it appears that that statement reflects more on you than it does on her, don't you think? I think what Io is saying is it comes across that way not that its necessary true. I am inclined to agree so that farther proves that it appears that way, something can appear one way and be quite different. I have had many misunderstandings in autism and I think we can all relate but still, its human nature to perceptive our surroundings. Which can lead to assuming things and can be the bases of a misunderstanding.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:59:44 GMT
I think things can appear some way to some person, but people have different perceptions, so it is hard to say which perception is more right than another. I think it is fine for people to have different perceptions, including negative ones of something or someone, and say them. The only thing is not to make personal attacks, like saying to someone that they are bad person.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 22:07:14 GMT
Right now, going around asking people what they think of you, which means you're either anxious or upset, either way not a place where you are going to be open to listening. That's presumptuous. People can ask for feedback simply because they are interested in the opinions of others. I do it all the time, and I am rarely anxious or upset. I am curious. I know your statement was not directed at me, but it appears that that statement reflects more on you than it does on her, don't you think? Getting feedback from time to time is essential to keep in check with reality, doing it all the time is being insecure. I don't believe it is presumptuous. I have previously thought as she does and know what a blow it is to hear that the perception I thought I was giving to people was inaccurate and not what represented me as a person at all. I am empathizing with how difficult it is when someone points it out and allowing her time to process it. Something I wasn't always afforded.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 22:13:03 GMT
Right now, going around asking people what they think of you, which means you're either anxious or upset, either way not a place where you are going to be open to listening. If you are still curious in a few days then you can ask me that again. Until then know that this particular feeling you are having whether you realize you are having it or not is what other people feel when they see posts about people hating them for complaining/boo hooing. OK, I'll ask you in a few days. Another thing is that I don't know what feeling you are talking about or what it has to do with boo hoo. I don't hate people for what I called boo hoo poor me attitude. I don't like the attitude, but I really don't dislike the people who have it. They may think that I hate them when I say that I don't like the attitude, but I didn't say that I hate them, and I don't hate them. I can't think anyone I hate. I hate celery, not people. I know you don't understand the feeling. That is why I asked you to come ask me in a few days. I would like you to have time to think about it. I would suggest asking yourself why people may need to boo hoo, do you think that they know a better way and just don't want to use it or do you think that maybe they are so overwhelmed they may not know what to do or maybe they were never taught a better way? I can promise you though with absolute certainty that many do it for the same reasons as why you don't like it. They feel strongly about it.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 22:21:57 GMT
OK, I'll ask you in a few days. Another thing is that I don't know what feeling you are talking about or what it has to do with boo hoo. I don't hate people for what I called boo hoo poor me attitude. I don't like the attitude, but I really don't dislike the people who have it. They may think that I hate them when I say that I don't like the attitude, but I didn't say that I hate them, and I don't hate them. I can't think anyone I hate. I hate celery, not people. I know you don't understand the feeling. That is why I asked you to come ask me in a few days. I would like you to have time to think about it. I would suggest asking yourself why people may need to boo hoo, do you think that they know a better way and just don't want to use it or do you think that maybe they are so overwhelmed they may not know what to do or maybe they were never taught a better way? I can promise you though with absolute certainty that many do it for the same reasons as why you don't like it. They feel strongly about it. I don't really have problems with people complaining about their lives though. I think that is fine and healthy. What I was thinking about was more the chronic pervasive attitude that seems to prevent a person from taking a tiny step towards making something even a small thing better for themselves in some area. Like sometimes I read of parents posting about their adult children who seem to live this way. Even a grown man who doesn't try to wipe his eyeglasses clean. I don't know what you were like, but I don't know how you would know that I am like you. I don't think I can ever tell if someone is like me, unless I get to know them in person for a long time, then I find out that they are similar in their thoughts or thinking style or other things to me. I think maybe you are projecting onto me. You remind me of this person who made weird comments about me like they knew me and usually analyzed some weird things into what I said, but I forget their name now. I don't believe they understood what I meant or how I thought at all.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 22:42:06 GMT
I know you don't understand the feeling. That is why I asked you to come ask me in a few days. I would like you to have time to think about it. I would suggest asking yourself why people may need to boo hoo, do you think that they know a better way and just don't want to use it or do you think that maybe they are so overwhelmed they may not know what to do or maybe they were never taught a better way? I can promise you though with absolute certainty that many do it for the same reasons as why you don't like it. They feel strongly about it. I don't really have problems with people complaining about their lives though. I think that is fine and healthy. What I was thinking about was more the chronic pervasive attitude that seems to prevent a person from taking a tiny step towards making something even a small thing better for themselves in some area. Like sometimes I read of parents posting about their adult children who seem to live this way. Even a grown man who doesn't try to wipe his eyeglasses clean. I don't know what you were like, but I don't know how you would know that I am like you. I don't think I can ever tell if someone is like me, unless I get to know them in person for a long time, then I find out that they are similar in their thoughts or thinking style or other things to me. I think maybe you are projecting onto me. If that is what you want to think that I am projecting. There is an alternative thought though. That when certain people with autism are told repeatedly that they need to watch what others are doing to be able to fit in they tend to take it literally and become very adept at recognizing behaviors. Which may be why some people know when someone else is on the spectrum or not. ETA: I don't know your thoughts outside what you write. That said what you have written is similar to the pattern of thought(s) that people have when they don't understand something, such as others needs to complain about little things. So either your painfully un-compassionate and heartless (which I don't think is the case) or you are autistic and don't understand that they have an emotional need to do something you find illogical.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 22:54:42 GMT
I don't really have problems with people complaining about their lives though. I think that is fine and healthy. What I was thinking about was more the chronic pervasive attitude that seems to prevent a person from taking a tiny step towards making something even a small thing better for themselves in some area. Like sometimes I read of parents posting about their adult children who seem to live this way. Even a grown man who doesn't try to wipe his eyeglasses clean. I don't know what you were like, but I don't know how you would know that I am like you. I don't think I can ever tell if someone is like me, unless I get to know them in person for a long time, then I find out that they are similar in their thoughts or thinking style or other things to me. I think maybe you are projecting onto me. If that is what you want to think that I am projecting. There is an alternative thought though. That when certain people with autism are told repeatedly that they need to watch what others are doing to be able to fit in they tend to take it literally and become very adept at recognizing behaviors. Which may be why some people know when someone else is on the spectrum or not. People may claim that they are good at something, convince themselves that they are good, and tell others that they are good, but that doesn't mean they are. The thing about knowing whether someone is autistic, many people claim to be able to spot autistic people, but they don't provide evidence to show they are good at doing this.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 22:56:49 GMT
Ok what evidence do you want. You are autistic or are you saying you are not?
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 22:58:51 GMT
I don't really have problems with people complaining about their lives though. I think that is fine and healthy. What I was thinking about was more the chronic pervasive attitude that seems to prevent a person from taking a tiny step towards making something even a small thing better for themselves in some area. Like sometimes I read of parents posting about their adult children who seem to live this way. Even a grown man who doesn't try to wipe his eyeglasses clean. I don't know what you were like, but I don't know how you would know that I am like you. I don't think I can ever tell if someone is like me, unless I get to know them in person for a long time, then I find out that they are similar in their thoughts or thinking style or other things to me. I think maybe you are projecting onto me. If that is what you want to think that I am projecting. There is an alternative thought though. That when certain people with autism are told repeatedly that they need to watch what others are doing to be able to fit in they tend to take it literally and become very adept at recognizing behaviors. Which may be why some people know when someone else is on the spectrum or not. ETA: I don't know your thoughts outside what you write. That said what you have written is similar to the pattern of thought(s) that people have when they don't understand something, such as others needs to complain about little things. So either your painfully un-compassionate and heartless (which I don't think is the case) or you are autistic and don't understand that they have an emotional need to do something you find illogical. Above your post, I said that I think it is fine and healthy for people to complain about their lives. I complain about little things often. Like my homework that I have to write up, how tedious it is to write up after the fun part of deriving, coding, and computing. The common complaining that most people do, I have nothing against that. I was talking about a completely different type of behavior/thinking as I described above.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 22:59:39 GMT
Ok what evidence do you want. You are autistic or are you saying you are not? I said I am autistic many times, you didn't figure that out yourself.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 23:41:12 GMT
Ok what evidence do you want. You are autistic or are you saying you are not? I said I am autistic many times, you didn't figure that out yourself. You're right I didn't but I did figure out you weren't lying all by myself. Your behavior is consistent with someone who has autism. OK, You want to know how I know others are autistic or not. I look for a few discernible behaviors online to be able to tell if someone is autistic. How stubborn they are when offered anything that isn't quantifiable or tangible. How they believe others to be. (They tend to not understand why anyone can be illogical when faced with what seems like small problems with logical solutions.) How observant they are as measured by reflections of observation of things. (The more pinpoint their observation is the more likely they are looking at the details.) Do they have any ideas that are not based on a logical process by which it was arrived. If they do then there is probably something else wrong with them. (Such as someone believing that everyone is out to get them, that isn't autism that is something else entirely.) If they have a certain subject or two that they like to talk about. Is it narrowly focused or just general. Do they know the scores for every game played last year for every team or just who won the Superbowl. How sensitive they are to criticism of any kind and what they do with that sensitivity. Someone can be sensitive and respond emotionally which is not autism or they give a list of reasons why their way is logical which tends to be autism.) Personal stories of things that happened to them. Autistic individuals have a certain way of describing things that are similar to my own way of describing things. It doesn't sound like it came from a book or something they read online. How blunt they are and how they are being blunt. You can be an ass and be blunt, but with autism it's rarely ill intention. Their behaviors are consistent and steady, they don't have high highs or low lows, they are flat line across the board when compared to others who tend to be really excitable. They take things literally even when it's obviously not a literal statement. How they describe feelings. If they are varied or restricted to the basics, happy, sad, angry, etc. Those are just the things I consciously look for, I am sure there are subconscious factors when reading things online that give me the impression that someone is autistic or not that I would have no awareness of. I have also been around people with mental health problems and know how they behave in various different situations so I also look to see if a person is showing any signs of that cause I like to steer clear. (Mainly because I feel sad when I am around that a lot.) Plus if people weren't able to recognize autism then why is there a name for it. Just because you are not good at recognizing behavior doesn't mean others are not.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 23:44:51 GMT
Btw all things I do and which leads to anyone who does those types of things to have a diagnosis of autism. They chose to go with behaviors for a reason in the diagnostic criteria. It's easy to tell when someone is faking it or just convinced themselves they have it.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 9, 2015 0:06:40 GMT
I said I am autistic many times, you didn't figure that out yourself. You're right I didn't but I did figure out you weren't lying all by myself. Your behavior is consistent with someone who has autism. OK, You want to know how I know others are autistic or not. I look for a few discernible behaviors online to be able to tell if someone is autistic. How stubborn they are when offered anything that isn't quantifiable or tangible. How they believe others to be. (They tend to not understand why anyone can be illogical when faced with what seems like small problems with logical solutions.) How observant they are as measured by reflections of observation of things. (The more pinpoint their observation is the more likely they are looking at the details.) Do they have any ideas that are not based on a logical process by which it was arrived. If they do then there is probably something else wrong with them. (Such as someone believing that everyone is out to get them, that isn't autism that is something else entirely.) If they have a certain subject or two that they like to talk about. Is it narrowly focused or just general. Do they know the scores for every game played last year for every team or just who won the Superbowl. How sensitive they are to criticism of any kind and what they do with that sensitivity. Someone can be sensitive and respond emotionally which is not autism or they give a list of reasons why their way is logical which tends to be autism.) Personal stories of things that happened to them. Autistic individuals have a certain way of describing things that are similar to my own way of describing things. It doesn't sound like it came from a book or something they read online. How blunt they are and how they are being blunt. You can be an ass and be blunt, but with autism it's rarely ill intention. Their behaviors are consistent and steady, they don't have high highs or low lows, they are flat line across the board when compared to others who tend to be really excitable. They take things literally even when it's obviously not a literal statement. How they describe feelings. If they are varied or restricted to the basics, happy, sad, angry, etc. Those are just the things I consciously look for, I am sure there are subconscious factors when reading things online that give me the impression that someone is autistic or not that I would have no awareness of. I have also been around people with mental health problems and know how they behave in various different situations so I also look to see if a person is showing any signs of that cause I like to steer clear. (Mainly because I feel sad when I am around that a lot.) Plus if people weren't able to recognize autism then why is there a name for it. Just because you are not good at recognizing behavior doesn't mean others are not. This is interesting, as some of your observations match how I would guess if someone was autistic based only on online postings, but I wouldn't say I am good at it, as I am not sure if I am right or wrong. I wouldn't say I am bad at it, I just don't know either way. It is only guesstimating on my part due to some observed data to output some result that I have not matched against ground truth (which is not very absolute in this case compared to whether something has some percent of a specific chemical for instance). I have only matched against some template that my brain created and modified over time in a way that no ones how this cognition works. But I have plenty of doubt because I am not sure if this template is perhaps just based on my individual thought processes, and I am matching based on similarity to me instead of a wider range of behaviors/cognition found in autistic people.
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