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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 17:26:36 GMT
I have been jumping between sites (Rightplanet and Wrongplanet) today and feel an impatience with the "oh poor me" attitude I'm seeing a lot of over there.
Why do others think this about me, why do others treat me that way, why does "everyone" do such-and-such...
Grow a pair will ya, figure out how to make enough friends (needn't be many), figure out what you could have done better in a situation ... It's just a whole mindset that I have no patience for.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 18:52:22 GMT
You could always stop reading their threads if it bothers you to do so.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 19:04:40 GMT
I have been jumping between sites (Rightplanet and Wrongplanet) today and feel an impatience with the "oh poor me" attitude I'm seeing a lot of over there. Why do others think this about me, why do others treat me that way, why does "everyone" do such-and-such... Grow a pair will ya, figure out how to make enough friends (needn't be many), figure out what you could have done better in a situation ... It's just a whole mindset that I have no patience for. First let me say this is not my opinion as a moderator so you need not worry about excessive moderation but in my personal opinion whats the point of talking about Wrong Planet? I mean its not productive, they have their flaws and I am sure we will develop ours as a forum soon enough. The thing with forums in general is they are cliquish and thats not just autism forums, thats internet forums in general. I will admit that I myself have a poor attitude in many respects but also bear in my mind some people such as myself suffer from depression. I am going through a bad bout of it myself and the world just seems grim right now so on some level you have to acknowledge that some people might not want sympathy as much as they are just in a miserable place right now. When I make posts on Wrong Planet about how everything is crashing around me, its not a "pity me now" gimmick. Its just the way I see things are dark right now at best. Personally what brothers me on Wrong Planet is how everyone is so cheerful and has this "get over it" attitude so I guess mileage varies a bit. Honesty though Wrong Planet bashing doesn't seem productive. The issue with Wrong Planet has been established as moderators taking vengeance on peoples opinion. Just because someone has a dark attitude shouldn't really be an issue, sure it might annoy you on a personal level but to my understanding thats what this forum is for. Its for people who are more mature that can look past different opinions, attitudes, etc.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 19:28:00 GMT
I saw on a thread at WP about the "new" AS site (here), Chummy said: "Who is Olive Oil Mom? and what does Alex think now that he has competition?" and I realized for the first time that Wrongplanet must be making some money. It has AdChoices ads on every page. So page views (and clickthroughs) are probably important to the site's success, and who knows, the amount of money might be substantial.
Never thought about that before.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 19:32:41 GMT
I saw on a thread at WP about the "new" AS site (here), Chummy said: "Who is Olive Oil Mom? and what does Alex think now that he has competition?" and I realized for the first time that Wrongplanet must be making some money. It has AdChoices ads on every page. So page views (and clickthroughs) are probably important to the site's success, and who knows, the amount of money might be substantial. Never thought about that before. Hell Alex lives in Beverly Hills to my knowledge so it wouldn't surprise me, I can't find a source for that but I read it somewhere. He ain't getting money from me, I use Ad Block. My personal opinion still stands on the topic, leave things where they lie and don't go to Wrong Planet if its a problem for you.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 19:36:40 GMT
dcj, I'm sorry you are having a rough time, and thanks for your contributions as a moderator. I hope your expectations of it are met in terms of what it can do for your.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 20:26:06 GMT
I find it hard to deal with boo hoo poor me too. I consider it not the same as venting. Venting I consider an occasional thing when someone just goes off and releases some emotions, feels better, and gets on with their lives. Boo hoo poor me is more of a chronic attitude that can't be helped by others' suggestions to change anything even a little. Supporting boo hoo poor me seems like enabling it to me.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 20:30:51 GMT
I find it hard to deal with boo hoo poor me too. I consider it not the same as venting. Venting I consider an occasional thing when someone just goes off and releases some emotions, feels better, and gets on with their lives. Boo hoo poor me is more of a chronic attitude that can't be helped by others' suggestions to change anything even a little. Supporting boo hoo poor me seems like enabling it to me. Just so I am clear we are whining about whiners?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 20:33:47 GMT
I find it hard to deal with boo hoo poor me too. I consider it not the same as venting. Venting I consider an occasional thing when someone just goes off and releases some emotions, feels better, and gets on with their lives. Boo hoo poor me is more of a chronic attitude that can't be helped by others' suggestions to change anything even a little. Supporting boo hoo poor me seems like enabling it to me. Ok thats a fair opinion but let me ask you this, where is the line between venting and poor attitudes? Once you have that answer than ask this question, can autistic people who might not see social lines anyway see that line? I am not defending poor attitude but we need a clear definition of it in the midst of depression, anxiety and other co-existing conditions. I am sure some are taking advantage of peoples sympathy but how can we tell those people apart from people on the edge of crisis.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 20:40:39 GMT
I find it hard to deal with boo hoo poor me too. I consider it not the same as venting. Venting I consider an occasional thing when someone just goes off and releases some emotions, feels better, and gets on with their lives. Boo hoo poor me is more of a chronic attitude that can't be helped by others' suggestions to change anything even a little. Supporting boo hoo poor me seems like enabling it to me. Just so I am clear we are whining about whiners? I am giving my opinion on the topic of the thread. What are you doing?
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 20:43:26 GMT
I find it hard to deal with boo hoo poor me too. I consider it not the same as venting. Venting I consider an occasional thing when someone just goes off and releases some emotions, feels better, and gets on with their lives. Boo hoo poor me is more of a chronic attitude that can't be helped by others' suggestions to change anything even a little. Supporting boo hoo poor me seems like enabling it to me. Ok thats a fair opinion but let me ask you this, where is the line between venting and poor attitudes? Once you have that answer than ask this question, can autistic people who might not see social lines anyway see that line? I am not defending poor attitude but we need a clear definition of it in the midst of depression, anxiety and other co-existing conditions. I am sure some are taking advantage of peoples sympathy but how can we tell those people apart from people on the edge of crisis. I usually give practical suggestions when I can think of one that might apply in a situation someone describes. I don't know how to give emotional support to others. The closest to emotional support I can give is to encourage someone if something is going right like, "That's very good", or if something is going wrong and I understand that situation very well, I may say, "This is something that truly sucks", but only if I have gone through it too. I don't understand things like depression and anxiety much.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 20:44:41 GMT
Hitting a nerve apparently. My opinion is you are whining about something you can easily avoid by simply moving on to a conversation that better suits your needs.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 20:45:33 GMT
As to telling apart when people are just milking your sympathy vs are really in crisis - once again this may not be popular, BUT -I don't want this site to be a crisis intervention place, I really do not want people putting out their suicide threats here. I DON'T NEED THE DRAMA IN MY LIFE!
If I see a thread here saying "goodbye cruel world, I just took the overdose" I'm likely to send them to Wrong Planet or tell them to call 911.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 20:47:52 GMT
And I DO know how to tell the difference and I DO know how to do a crisis intervention - I just can't be arsed. I know my limits and I'm not online to be someone's lifeline.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 20:50:47 GMT
Ok thats a fair opinion but let me ask you this, where is the line between venting and poor attitudes? Once you have that answer than ask this question, can autistic people who might not see social lines anyway see that line? I am not defending poor attitude but we need a clear definition of it in the midst of depression, anxiety and other co-existing conditions. I am sure some are taking advantage of peoples sympathy but how can we tell those people apart from people on the edge of crisis. I usually give practical suggestions when I can think of one that might apply in a situation someone describes. I don't know how to give emotional support to others. The closest to emotional support I can give is to encourage someone if something is going right like, "That's very good", or if something is going wrong and I understand that situation very well, I may say, "This is something that truly sucks", but only if I have gone through it too. I don't understand things like depression and anxiety much. Ok this is a key point I want you to consider, you just said your self that you don't know how to provide emotional support so would it be fair to say that its not the attitudes thats the problem but rather it makes you feel uncomfortable. Which is understandable but we need to be supportive of what people are going through too, maybe not a support site like Wrong Planet but still be accepting of these members who might be negative. Remember just because a thread is posted, doesn't mean you have to read it or reply. Bottom line is this, negativity is allowed just as opinions are allowed, it would be a shame if we accuse Wrong Planet of excessive moderation running members off when we run members off by not accepting some darker attitudes.
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