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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 21:20:45 GMT
I think you are attributing weird ideas to me, io. I don't think I am uncomfortable around emotional people, as I have no problem with many displays of emotion like venting and meltdowns. I consider venting and having some meltdowns every once in awhile fine and healthy for all people. I support emotional people in person, quite naturally. This includes people being happy, people being sad, people being annoyed, etc. It is boo hoo poor me chronic attitude that I don't like it and say so. You are free to think that. Your behavior says I am on the nose. You might now realize this, but besides cats and brains you pretty much go around telling people what you don't like, think is stupid, etc. On rare occasions you will say you like something other than brains or cats and then go right back to complaining about other people's behaviors while accepting no responsibility for your own. Maybe you should think about how you present yourself if you don't want people getting weird ideas about you.
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itt2
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Post by itt2 on Nov 8, 2015 21:21:48 GMT
I like to read all kinds of things and post about what I like and don't like in what I read. I think it is fine to read something, not like it or disagree with it, and say so. I don't just read things that I know I will like or agree with. In fact, I don't know if I will like or agree until I read it. Can you all tell? No, I can't always tell until I read the thread either. But I can tell when my buttons have been pushed, and once I know my buttons have been pushed, I (usually) try to have the restraint to leave the thread. And there is a difference between "disagreeing" and "having your buttons pushed." When your buttons have been pushed, you "see red" and start to lose your objectivity. I think most people also lose their ability to censor themselves so as not to say unduly harsh or hurtful things. Usually when people are complaining about a thread, it is because their buttons are being pushed. That is when you should step back and stop reading.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2015 21:21:52 GMT
There is one option to help control some of these variables, and that is to make this an invitation-only forum in which people can be "voted off the island." I was a member of a forum like that once, and in the years I participated, only 2 people that I can think of were kicked off. And it was successful, for the most part. I eventually quit due to philosophical differences, but I have no reason to believe that the forum does not still exist. One of the pros was that we did not have a lot of stuff that the group as a whole considered "drama." One of the cons was that there was no injection of new ideas and opinions, and I think eventually that contributed to in-fighting. So moderators from Wrong Planet are cliquish but you want to make VIP only web site so to speak and don't consider that cliquish? I think that defeats the idea and vision that OOM had for this forum.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:22:57 GMT
That is fine for you to have this perception of me, io. I think it is fine for me to post what I don't like, if they are my real thoughts. If I pretended to like something to improve others' perceptions of me, then I would feel weird about that. I don't think I could do it.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:24:40 GMT
Are there any other criticisms or negative impressions of me? I am really interested to know, and won't be offended.
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itt2
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Post by itt2 on Nov 8, 2015 21:26:48 GMT
I like to read all kinds of things and post about what I like and don't like in what I read. I think it is fine to read something, not like it or disagree with it, and say so. I don't just read things that I know I will like or agree with. In fact, I don't know if I will like or agree until I read it. Can you all tell? I may be about to double post...I don't know where the post I just made went. I said that I can't always tell ahead of time, either. But I can tell when my buttons have been pushed. There is a difference between disagreeing with something and having your buttons pushed. Once your buttons have been pushed, it becomes difficult to censor yourself from saying unduly harsh or cruel things. This is when people should back off, when their buttons have been pushed. I think for the most part when people complain about the content of a thread, it is because some kind of button has been pushed. This is in additon to the post I tried to make before: There are some people on WP who, for whatever reason, just seem to push my buttons, every time they post. I only read their threads when I am in a very good place, when my ADHD is not excessively affecting my comprehension, and when I can enter the thread with an open mind. Otherwise, I do not read what they write because it sets me off almost every time.
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itt2
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Post by itt2 on Nov 8, 2015 21:29:46 GMT
There is one option to help control some of these variables, and that is to make this an invitation-only forum in which people can be "voted off the island." I was a member of a forum like that once, and in the years I participated, only 2 people that I can think of were kicked off. And it was successful, for the most part. I eventually quit due to philosophical differences, but I have no reason to believe that the forum does not still exist. One of the pros was that we did not have a lot of stuff that the group as a whole considered "drama." One of the cons was that there was no injection of new ideas and opinions, and I think eventually that contributed to in-fighting. So moderators from Wrong Planet are cliquish but you want to make VIP only web site so to speak and don't consider that cliquish? I think that defeats the idea and vision that OOM had for this forum. I don't think the moderators are cliquish, and I don't think the site, as a whole, is cliquish, any moreso than can be attributed to the fact that some people like each other more than others. But, if you want to avoid some of the things that people are complaining about, it's not going to happen on an open forum.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 21:30:48 GMT
That is fine for you to have this perception of me, io. I think it is fine for me to post what I don't like, if they are my real thoughts. If I pretended to like something to improve others' perceptions of me, then I would feel weird about that. I don't think I could do it. Funny (as in odd) how you took that as me saying you should lie and be disingenuous. I didn't, but it's interesting you did.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:32:35 GMT
I like to read all kinds of things and post about what I like and don't like in what I read. I think it is fine to read something, not like it or disagree with it, and say so. I don't just read things that I know I will like or agree with. In fact, I don't know if I will like or agree until I read it. Can you all tell? I may be about to double post...I don't know where the post I just made went. I said that I can't always tell ahead of time, either. But I can tell when my buttons have been pushed. There is a difference between disagreeing with something and having your buttons pushed. Once your buttons have been pushed, it becomes difficult to censor yourself from saying unduly harsh or cruel things. This is when people should back off, when their buttons have been pushed. I think for the most part when people complain about the content of a thread, it is because some kind of button has been pushed. This is in additon to the post I tried to make before: There are some people on WP who, for whatever reason, just seem to push my buttons, every time they post. I only read their threads when I am in a very good place, when my ADHD is not excessively affecting my comprehension, and when I can enter the thread with an open mind. Otherwise, I do not read what they write because it sets me off almost every time. I don't think I generally say cruel things to others or make personal attacks, as that is against rules on most forums. Other people have said that I generally don't personally attack others when I disagree with their opinions. I guess they may still find my statements too harsh, but I find it really impossible to sugarcoat things. If I think of something, I usually say it in straightforward way, and some people seem to hate that. The interesting thing is that I have no such problems offline. I say the same straightforward things, including making comments about what I don't like and think is stupid or bad, and people don't have problems with that, some seem to like it as I am sometimes saying things they are thinking but too socially adept to release, while I have less social intuition to filter things or cast things in some way that sounds better.
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itt2
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Post by itt2 on Nov 8, 2015 21:32:18 GMT
Are there any other criticisms or negative impressions of me? I am really interested to know, and won't be offended. I have no problem with you. I generally find your contributions to be thought provoking, even if I do not agree with them. You have given me helpful perspectives about my daughter. You strike me as smart, but I think you diminish your intelligence (or people's perception of it) when you type things like "eberry" instead of every, but I am sure you probably know that already and chose to do it anyway. I have no problem with that.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:33:24 GMT
That is fine for you to have this perception of me, io. I think it is fine for me to post what I don't like, if they are my real thoughts. If I pretended to like something to improve others' perceptions of me, then I would feel weird about that. I don't think I could do it. Funny (as in odd) how you took that as me saying you should lie and be disingenuous. I didn't, but it's interesting you did. Please continue this analysis, it is very interesting to me.
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Post by btbnnyr on Nov 8, 2015 21:35:54 GMT
Are there any other criticisms or negative impressions of me? I am really interested to know, and won't be offended. I have no problem with you. I generally find your contributions to be thought provoking, even if I do not agree with them. You have given me helpful perspectives about my daughter. You strike me as smart, but I think you diminish your intelligence (or people's perception of it) when you type things like "eberry" instead of every, but I am sure you probably know that already and chose to do it anyway. I have no problem with that. The egg and berry thing is a joke that grew from another forum, the invitation only one unrelated to autism, and I just applied it on wp too, for fun. Some people seem to like it, others said they are annoyed by it. It is mostly for my own entertainment to see how many egg words I can make and new ways to use egg. Like my latest creation "Eggsperger Syndrome". I know I am smart, but I am not too worried about if others think I am smart or not. I do lots of not so smart things too. And I am not smart in all areas.
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itt2
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Post by itt2 on Nov 8, 2015 21:42:43 GMT
LIke I said, I am sure you know that already and chose to do it anyway. I wasn't a part of the original joke, so in the beginning it tripped me up quite a bit because one time I would read a post you wrote and you would sound intelligent and well spoken, and then the next time I came back, you sounded like a character from a cartoon! LOL!
As a woman in a scientific field, you may want to pay attention to whether or not others think you are smart. You will have to work twice as hard to prove yourself and some people will run with any "opportunity" you give them to discredit your intelligence. Just my opinion. But it is my opinion based on the result of a youthful decision to disguise my intelligence so as not to make other people feel uncomfortable. It was a mistake. I am not saying you are trying to disguise your intelligence. But I understand what happens when you give people "reason" to discredit you. They will. And sometimes it is very difficult to come back from that once it happens.
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Post by io on Nov 8, 2015 21:42:58 GMT
Funny (as in odd) how you took that as me saying you should lie and be disingenuous. I didn't, but it's interesting you did. Please continue this analysis, it is very interesting to me. Right now, going around asking people what they think of you, which means you're either anxious or upset, either way not a place where you are going to be open to listening. If you are still curious in a few days then you can ask me that again. Until then know that this particular feeling you are having whether you realize you are having it or not is what other people feel when they see posts about people hating them for complaining/boo hooing.
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itt2
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Post by itt2 on Nov 8, 2015 21:45:29 GMT
Please continue this analysis, it is very interesting to me. Right now, going around asking people what they think of you, which means you're either anxious or upset, either way not a place where you are going to be open to listening. That's presumptuous. People can ask for feedback simply because they are interested in the opinions of others. I do it all the time, and I am rarely anxious or upset. I am curious. I know your statement was not directed at me, but it appears that that statement reflects more on you than it does on her, don't you think?
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